unfollowryanross:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence

153,422 plays

i like this remix

apostlemage:

pyramidslayer:

look what you can buy

There is a Pope in the Cars universe. This means that there is Catholic Christianity, which means there was a Jesus car who was crucified. Jesus Chrysler was crucified by car Romans under Pontiac Pilot who washed his wheels. A car was nailed to a cross and ascended to Heaven.

apostlemage:

pyramidslayer:

look what you can buy

There is a Pope in the Cars universe. This means that there is Catholic Christianity, which means there was a Jesus car who was crucified. Jesus Chrysler was crucified by car Romans under Pontiac Pilot who washed his wheels. A car was nailed to a cross and ascended to Heaven.

wandaventham:

the official twitter account for the environmental protection agency’s office of water just posted about being a C-list celebrity in kim k hollywood 

omfg this is real

wandaventham:

the official twitter account for the environmental protection agency’s office of water just posted about being a C-list celebrity in kim k hollywood 

omfg this is real

Today I was walking up 45th St by Times Square just eating some ice cream when a stampede of 13 year old girls all rushed past me screaming and they were all chasing after this car that had this guy who looked like King of the Twinks who was blowing kisses out of the window as the car drove off and then the girls started crying and then I noticed they were all wearing shirts that said ‘5 Seconds of Summer’ and that’s how I learned about the newest boy band 

meloetta:

"text me when you get home so i know you’re safe" kinda people are the people i wanna be around

purplespacecats:

Why do adults think “So what’s your major? Oh, and what are you going to do with that?” is acceptable small talk

What am I going to do with my degree? Hang it on the wall and cry, probably

sneakmouse:

follow for more soft white trash

sneakmouse:

follow for more soft white trash

americansavior:

itsjustsatanthings:

cumber-bitches:

caswantsdeansassbutt:

cumber-bitches:

cumber-bitches:

I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.

omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven

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In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy. 

polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.

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this week on: britan thinks its special

cucaluca:

MollyB0mBshell has a review for you!!!

very informative

so-humorous:

this is a strong independent dog that dont need no man to walk him dog walks itself

so-humorous:

this is a strong independent dog that dont need no man to walk him dog walks itself

Weird Al’s entire career is a never-ending Dad joke
(also, his rhymes are better than Iggy Azalea’s in this)